Releasing the cycle of pain
We are 13 days out from the start of the Ecstatic Birth Practitioner Training and all my lifelong patterns and triggers are going off like sirens in my being…
“You should be doing.. X, Y, Z… C’mon girl, It’s crunch time!!! Work work WORK!”
And yet my sweet body.. (I brag that I’ve gotten so great at FEELING my body)..
My body is calm and cool and has a whole different vibe about her. Yes, there are times that she propels me into action (like right now), but just as often she simply wants to bask, revel, trust and receive.
I spent years beating myself up for not “doing” enough or correctly, fighting my being, fighting MY process and I recently had the epiphany that this is exactly what the patriarchy wants of us.
Not only is the story of Adam and Eve about punishing women to suffer through birth, but it is about distrust of the feminine on a grand scale. Our bodies are feminine. Mother nature is feminine. Conception, pregnancy, and birth are THE feminine process.
Yes, reclamation of childbirth requires reclamation of our relationships with our bodies and our sexuality, but it also requires reclamation of our feminine nature.
The masculine process is linear. It teaches us that the more we work, the more we will produce. No pain, no gain.
The feminine has a whole other rhythm to her. She is cyclical, circular.. Much like birth she has a flow that can only be tapped into feeling into her body and honoring what is true within.
2 nights ago I was feeling stuck and super resistant to marketing for the upcoming practitioner training. I already have a phenomenal group of women signed on from around the globe. Do I really need to do more?
If there is one thing I have learned it is that muscling through resistance is useless. It makes everything harder and less fruitful at the same time. (ehem.. Just like in birth)
Luckily I had a gathering of my sensual expansion study group scheduled and we did an exercise where we melted into our bodies and activated our receptivity. In addition to experiencing a whole lotta pleasure along the way, I received visions, ideas, and inspirations of how to play with getting the word out about my Practitioner Training, ways that I am EXCITED to explore.
Woah.. YES.. so it is in life as it is in birth. The answer was not in strategizing, forcing myself to sit at my desk and woooooooork hard despite my resistance. Instead, feeling my body and becoming receptive to pleasure, brought flow to the areas where I was stuck!
Instead of feeling bogged down with the drudgery of marketing.. Now I am excited to PLAY!